You have your head on my leg. Because that’s how it happened. I sat and
you came to me, still a little dreamy, spun into the happenings that life gave
us. Pensive, my hand strokes your hair. You keep your eyes closed while I look
at you, just look and my hand does the rest. We are back on the beach. You cannot
swim forever. Humans are not made for the water. They can stay in it for a
while, but eventually they have to come out again. Even if it is the water of
bliss. You cannot stand it, not forever. Slowly, my skin is drying while it is
still working and my hand is brushing the moisture off your hair. We swam
together.
My hand is resting while you still keep your
eyes closed. A while, a little one, then we’ll get up and go. You to the place
you have to go and me to mine. It is so. But you will not forget the sea once
you feel it. It carries you back. Together or alone. It is not easy to swim
alone. That’s what we were taught.
“Watch out while swimming”, I was told,
“You cannot do it alone. The sea is too big. Alone you go under. “
At the same time, I’d rather not go down than in a
sea of bliss. But we swam it together. It was not always like this.
Only when we met, it was as if the whole country
was desolate. But when you took me by the hand, then it started to rain. First.
It’s always a small start. You do not just jump into the water when you do not
know if you can actually swim together. It was just a puddle. Carefully we put
our feet in it. How easily you confuse it. Water always looks the same.
Mistrust and resentment have the same consistency as happiness, even joy. You
never know it in the first place. But it had been joy. And a piece of approach.
It was warm and inviting. We had experienced it. And the paints became a pond. It
was not deep. We could wade through. Nothing had changed. So, we ventured
further into a lake where we ventured our first swim attempts. And see, it
worked. From time to time we dipped our heads under the water. The fish swam
around our feet, the seagrass tickled them. There was a lot to laugh about.
Just like that, without any special occasion. The lake was followed by the sea.
We dared to do it and did well to swim through it from one shore to the other,
the sea that seems to reach into infinity. Our strength was enough. It is not easy
to swim that long, not to be dazed by this excess of luck. Bliss.
Connectedness. Eternity of connectedness. It is unbearable. The power gave us
the love, gives us the love, you suspected. But I remained skeptical. Love can
do a lot, but not alone.
Only when connected to the life that nourishes it
can it give the power to swim through the sea, from one shore to another. If we
do not respect the living, in all its facets and forms, not respect and admire
and let, then also the love can do nothing. As a part of life that we are, just
a part of the All-encompassing and all-connected, may be love. We have learned
it. A frog jumped out of the puddle where we ventured our first attempts. We
stopped. Not to drive him away. It is his place as well as ours. We can arrange
ourselves without having to repress if we want to reach life and the sea. We
wanted and we want. Submerge again, swim, let off and on, to come back to the
shore at some point. The sun is drying our skin, while your head is resting on
my leg and my hand is resting on it, before we get on our way again, to go
somewhere and from somewhere, to try again in swimming, in the sea of bliss,
that has always been, that we always make ourselves accessible again and give
ourselves.