Beyond the mainstream, yet in the middle of life
Daniela Noitz was born on May 24, 1972 in Lower Austria to spend her life after a few trials and tribulations as an activist writer, first in the idyllic Burgenland.
In 1972, in the midst of a period of full employment, a sustained economic growth and a socialist sole government, the author was born. Percussion and still free love. Social standards have been increased and people have become increasingly secure. Reduced working time and given women the opportunity to freely decide whether or not they could work, free because they no longer had to obtain the permission of their father or their spouse. The deadline for the right of abortion was decided. Luckily, this was not used by the mother of the author, lucky for her and all her readers.
In the midst of this social cuddly climate, the author was born under her maiden name, which she later dropped, into a middle-class, up-and-coming, performance-oriented family of entrepreneurs, who gave her from the first vial to the appropriate values, which is very well reflected in an anecdote. Thus the author, still in children’s shoes, will have visited the Schönbrunner Zoo on a labor-free Sunday with her grandparents. After she had been informed in detail about who worked at the zoo, she finally asked, “And who deserves the most?” It does not need to be stressed that the grandparents, as well as all the other relatives to whom this story has been hurriedly told, had tears of emotion and proud in their eyes, for this girl had understood it from the beginning, achievement and financial success, that is what counts in life.
And because the performance and the financial success do not fall from the sky, the author had a lot of time and leisure to think about this and that, and above all else, since they barely bothered their parents with their presence. Free and unbound, she grew up, free from too much attention and spent time together.
What a joy when she finally came to school. Now the world of the written word, which she had entered at the time, had finally been accessible to her, and had never left her ever since, either as a reader or as a writer. Her relationship with the school in particular, and to authorities in general, was from the very beginning a tantamount unfortunate one, as she soon realized that the school gave her much less than she hoped for, and authorities often consisted of façade, contentless, and pompous. Not to know is the problem, but to say it – because that does not belong.
In spite of all the resentments already shown in the Elementary school, and the fact that they were able to keep all fours straight for the last six months in the fourth school year, because the end was already to be seen and the place in the secondary school secured, she switched to the high school , who had written the humanistic ideological ideals in their own flag. Eagerly she turned to her rich imagination, as she reached it through a door and led her into an untouched idyll, where all living beings were friends and could communicate with one another. This was certainly the case during the lesson, especially when she was bored, and that happened very often. Nevertheless, she was able to complete the first four years of schooling with great success. Only the behavioral note rattled down – but the parents saw, yes, that becomes a promoter. What does the behavior concern, especially if it is only a matter of small dreams. Probably she is already dreaming of the heaps of money that she would one day make. But it was never pronounced, because neither time nor money nor words could be wasted, even if one did not get interest for time and words.
Nevertheless, she suggested the classical, humanistic path of education, at least almost, because it was a modern secondary school with a scientific orientation. At the beginning she still showed great zeal, at least, as long as every year the notebooks were labeled and the first page filled. The rest went into laziness, boredom, and dullness, just as it is in a school. Modern workplaces, with precise clo-, drinking- and eating regulation. Forcible institutions, with demotivated, long-suffering teachers, many of whom were already to be found in the morning at the innkeeper’s office. Yet she also managed to achieve these four years, with average grades in the subjects of education, and again an under-average in behavior. Perhaps this also involved the fact that she put down the pencil again with the beginning of the last semester and stretched the performance banner. Why not, because she finally had a fixed place in a secondary vocational school.
That is why she moved on to the following autumn, and in the meantime we wrote the year 1986, after an exciting summer, the first great love including, not only her schoolwork in a new school, but also many other belongings in a new lodging called boarding school. From now on, for five years at least, she lived in the same place where she was learning, shaken by a variety of longings, surrounded by figurative, everlasting diet and clothes. After she could not do much with these subjects, her fantasies also came along. A compensation and a small piece of justice. To the outside, she gave herself to the orthodox economy, which was then and now in the trade academies of this world, while her rebellious spirit was more and more open. Economy is not everything, was one of the rebellious, even heretical phrases. For the first time, she also lived out of her diaries, which she began to write in order not to forget her life, and in her first drama, which still lies in the cellar, was withdrawn from the public for a good reason. It was called “emotion against reason,” and already shows the split, under which the author suffered for many years. She also wrote the first short stories, including those with the catchy title “My love accompanies you wherever you go”. This was described as successful, and the author herself gave an expansive talent. Two other dramas followed, which were also given to a one-time performance. After the matriculation, she was finally able to leave the forced labor camp. A commercial career had been envisaged, but for the first time the discrepancies between the expectations of others and their own came to light.
3. Years of studies
The author did not study business administration theory, as it would have been for a proper commercial academy graduate, but theology and German studies. The horror of all performance-oriented, economically-minded people. Spiritual sciences, a free trade, with free love and many discussions. A horror scenario. But that was certainly only a phase, the parents and all the other relatives calmed down when they heard the election, because they would get back then.
In 1991, when the author heard and read about God and the world in the airy heights of the theological faculty, she felt free for the first time in her life. The doors to the phantasies were temporarily closed, but not locked, for they devoted themselves zealously, even with dedication, to the possibility of gaining access to the vast, wide world of knowledge. Now she would have deserved an award in conduct, but there were no more emotions at the university. Finally, she was allowed to ask all the questions that had hitherto been held back as unseemly. Not just with impunity, it was demanded. Questions of the ruling social structures, of the economic system. Questions about humanity, about suffering and misery, about the meaning and what holds the world together. After five semesters, she had completed her studies, almost at least, for she was only allowed to finish it after nine semesters. At this point, on the large free-standing staircase in front of the venerable University of Vienna, their further path decided to take them back into the bosom of good-citizenship. Although it was their own decision to study economics. The parents and relatives breathed open, for she had come to her senses.
Nothing you learn in life is in vain, although at the moment it was at least free, because, as it turned out, the author succeeded in seeing economics, on the background of the studies taken during the last years, somewhat more relaxed. Heresy remained to her, which is very easy in the economic university, since the dogmas are firmer and more immutable than in theology. But in contrast to the religious communities, heretics are not quieted or at least attempted by excommunication, but much more subtle. They are clamped in, let them rest, and place them in the spinning corner. They are allowed to brawl, but they are always drowned. A curiosity among all the faithful and worshipers of the free market.
Ultimately, the author left the universities with two degrees and the will to lead a normal life.
4. The normal life
Very normal, with hatching, children bear and raise and a virtuous work in marketing. In it she went. The fantasies were still locked. She had to do. She had so much to do that there was not a minute to catch her breath, tense between children, husband and work. Never come to rest. Hardly sleep. More and more requirements. Whoever is so involved does not even come up with stupid ideas until she compels a serious illness to rest. But she still did not understand it. As soon as he had recovered, she continued this way unintentionally. But slowly she felt that she broke herself by tearing between the demands placed on her, but above all of the one, the only one, to make it right for everyone and to be there for all. For the others, never for myself, so the credo that accompanied her woman-being, and that was one that took almost four decades to look through.
But when she had looked through it, when she finally realized what she was doing and broke her life slowly, she took her hat and left the normal life, into a self-chosen life’s evening.
5. The new life section – a newborn
We were all born – and could not help it. But if a new birth happens in the middle of life, then it is our decision. In 2011, she not only left her current field of work in the form of an dependent work, with all its safety and continuity, but also her previous attitude towards life, and from then on she decided to live what she had always wanted. She began to realize herself and her ideas about a self-determined life. Of course the response was anything but positive. Especially from the side of the family and close friends there was the most diverse negative reactions, because it cannot be what is not allowed. To be an artist is not a profession, certainly not a life, but at most a hobby, for which one can take time when everything else is done.
The main reason for rejection, however, was not the external but the internal change. With this new birth, the critical view of his own attitudes awoke. Much has been conceived and revised. She realized that it is only possible for others to be there when you are there for yourself, look for your own strengths and do good for yourself. It is an aspect that should really be obvious and yet so little perceived. It is women who tend to lean back and neglect their own needs. This is also demanded in the picture of the selfless, self-sacrificing mother, who is still subdued by a dubious picture of Mary, even if it is not far from religiosity. Nevertheless, the unspoken demand for mothers is stubbornly self-indulgent and does not have any wishes of its own. This, of course, has a fatal impact on the picture that women have to deal with themselves.
In the moment the new birth, she also threw all these pictures overboard and searched for a new way for herself. This mainly involved changes for the surrounding area. They stood before a woman, who suddenly seemed quite different from what they had known her. But also ignored. The children were prepared and soon found the advantages, because a strong, self-assured mother also strengthens their children. Only her husband could not cope with these changes, so that he took his leave, both internally and soon. The last ballast fell.
6. The new physicality as an activism
Reorientation, rebirth, means not only that it changed their lives externally, because everything always plays together. Body, mind and soul form a unity. If a part of it is neglected, then the whole works no longer. Thus followed the external change, the professional orientation and the removal of all ballasts from the life, the physical change. The first step was a diet change. First, she left the meat away and later all animal products. What first came to be a limitation, because we are now arrested in a culture that means you cannot live without animal products, which also explains the immense increase in diseases such as diabetes, allergies, cardiovascular diseases, cancer and osteoporosis , because animal products weigh our body and thus also our spirit. Anyone who decides to make this change will experience that on the one hand there is such a variety of herbal products that you can feast every day like God in France. Nevertheless, one feels lighter, more energetic and full of energy. This is easy to explain, because the body is no longer so heavily loaded and thus less energy is consumed. It is reflected in the face and in the eyes. More powerful, healthier and more alive, that is the result of one of the best decisions she had made in her life. But the mind can also work more freely.
She realized that she became more curious and open. Also for the suffering and the problems of the world. Of course, we will not change the world until tomorrow and save it, but it will have to be day after tomorrow. With this motto in mind, she began to look at the suffering that is being done to our fellow beings, the animals, the people, the earth. She decided to try to lessen this suffering, if not completely. That is why she became an animal rights activist and also a political activist. For it became clear that changes for the community are only possible through the way of politics. In the meantime, she sees herself as a life-activist, for just as it is true for the individual that the body, the mind and the soul form a unity and no part can be healthy without the other, so does society. As long as we distinguish between domestic animals and livestock, between living creatures of the first and second class, so long we will also use life without seeing its value in itself. Nothing and no one is in the world to “use”.
Because life is life is life. And our task is to bring as little suffering as possible.
This is the motto that accompanies her since a completely painless action is never possible, but we have to do all we can to avoid suffering. This begins, of course, in our dealings with ourselves, for only those who are good to themselves can also be good to others. Since then, she does not need cosmetics or medication. Beauty happens by eating and by turning to life. This is closely connected with the awakening of a new, comprehensive sexuality. If you feel well in yourself and your body, who feels beautiful and desirable as a woman or a man, who takes his body seriously, it can also be with the partner. Gift and surrender, also in the physical connection, presupposes a free mind and an unbound soul. Women are still putting their sexual needs back. The liberation to total physical surrender is always a gain for both partners, no matter what constellation. Sexuality as an expression of a comprehensive feeling for life has rediscovered it for itself.
7. Theme world
The extent to which biographical elements are incorporated into the artistic work is not to be assessed and certainly not discussed, since this has been the case for decades, with more or less satisfactory results. Of course, what we encounter in life is part of the work and flows into it, but it is always only a part. The prerequisite for every artistic work is the devotion to life, curiosity, openness and imagination. That is why the main focus of their theme world lies on the encounter.
At first, this was limited to the encounter with people, but very quickly it became the one with all living things that surrounds us. To enter into encounter and to be in it gives us the possibility to grow above ourselves, to be more than we are for ourselves. Encounter as successful or failed, as life-giving or life-threatening, but always as a turning towards what is given to us.
Encounter is the starting point and the end point for everything else. And life laughs at her.
15 Gedanken zu “Who am I”
Your story is very interesting. Thanks for sharing it.
I’m glad to read, that it’s interesting. I never thougt that, but now I know, it’s good that I wrote it.
I am glad too.
I noticed in your block where a follower shows their email address, etc, that a lot of other highly personal information is required. I think that anything beyond the email address and URL might be too personal for the internet. You might consider that as constructive food for thought.
Yes, I do. Thank you for the information.
May I ask if your still reside in Austria? It appears to be a lovely country.
Yes I do, and it is, small and lovely …
I may have stated the same comment more than once. Thanks for being such a good friend.
I think the same, thank you
I love your facial expression in your pic.
It is 1 AM on the eastern seaboard of the USA, where I reside, so sleep will come soon. Please have a good day.
It’s 7 o’clock mideurope time, so I wish you a good sleep
Thank you for sharing your adventures and glad that through all your challenges your learned who you are, what you are capable of and are able to follow your dreams… hope each and every day is filled with happiness and life is all that you wished for it to be… 🙂
“When you are truly inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project… your mind transcends its limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world! Then those dormant forces, faculties and talents inside you become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” Patanjali “
Thank you for your wonderful comment. I really feel that. One very important point is, that I met so many wonderful people, who share my dreams and hopes, also for a better world. That gives me hope and faith.