We laughed and we lived, just like that, unsuspecting, but considerate of each other. That day it happened was like any other, full of foreshadowing and hopeful. „Do we want to take the train there, up the mountain and look at the world from above, today when the sky is so clear, and the view …
I was lying on the dock that night, naked and stretched out on my back, and small drops of water shimmered like pearls on my skin as they reflected the moonlight. I had swum through the lake, was immersed in the clear water, weightless, caressed and carried. The drops of water shimmered on my skin …
Of all the nights that I woke up and went back to sleep, there were very, very few in which I was truly lonely. Not just alone, but lonely, like an outcast who no longer even finds a connection point to a you in my mind, whose isolation consists not only of a physical, but …
I was so sure, so, so, so, so sure or was I just as sure as I am sure of myself, always just so vaguely? No, I was absolutely sure, as sure as I could be, that the moon would rise again the next evening, as sure as I could be sure that it would …
I sat on the dock, on the dock again, that night. You left, sometime before that you left, into your world and left me here, here in my world, which we, speaking, snatched from the flow of chaos. Now that it was complete again, now you could withdraw. And I was sitting on the jetty …
“You love me,” he thinks, “and actually you’ve always loved me. You just didn’t admit it to yourself, didn’t admit it. Like a light in the ailing darkness, a positioning in the midst of the vagueness of your poor, desolate life. But what, you must have asked yourself what if I had left you, if …
What is it about, with this unrestrained and unrestrainable longing that is spreading in me, raging in me, like a rapidly growing ulcer that remains without healing and relief because there is no remedy for it? What is it, with this eternally driving restlessness that dwells in me, that takes me more and more into …
We walk part of the way together, hand in hand. Nobody can say how long this piece will be – or how short, and I don’t even want to be told. At some point it will be over, at some point – just not today, and maybe we will be granted the next night and …
There was nothing more than the kind of simple happiness that was not grandly announced or expected, but simply was there, with all naturalness, as if there could be nothing else, as if it couldn’t be otherwise. I plunged into the clear night, into its sweet, beguiling scent, into the gentle breath of the wind …
The chaos was in the river, still in the river, around the safe harbor that we let become in our words, our jetty on the lake, the lake, the ferryman and the window. We let the water of the lake wash over us, dived, swam, but when we reached the opposite bank it was the …