“Jonah!” a voice called out to a tall, slender man with dark curly hair and blue eyes. The addressed looked around confused because he could not see anyone. “I guess I just imagined it,” he thought, and resumed reading that he had interrupted because of the supposed shout.
“Jonah, listen to me,” came the same voice again.
“Who’s there?” asked Jonah, who still couldn’t see anyone, but felt he had to clear things up.
“It’s me, God,” the voice replied, “I have a job for you to do, an important one.”
“Listen, God, what you call yourself. If it really is you, then you should know that I don’t believe in you,” Jonah replied boredly, “And besides, I don’t need to save Nineveh anymore, because that has long since perished. So what’s the point.”
“It doesn’t matter whether you believe in me or not,” God said succinctly. “Besides, it’s not about Nineveh, we already had that. And if you remember, it worked back then. No, this time it’s about something much more important, it’s about saving all of humanity, not just those of a single city.”
“All right, I know that,” said Jonah, “climate crisis and stuff like that. I do what I can, don’t fly on planes, don’t take cruises, don’t have a car and live vegan. That’s all I can do, so leave me alone.”
“Yes you can,” God continued, “It’s nice what you’re doing, but even if all people would do it, which is far from the case, because there are enough who don’t even do the smallest thing, because they think so, but even if it were, it’s no more than the famous drop in the ocean. Even if you’re set up nicely, in your comfort, there’s something that really makes sense.”
“Let’s assume I’m interested in what you have to say,” Jonah replied, “What would you say then? What can you do or me?”
“Quite simply, I’ll smuggle you into a conference of the top bosses of the largest corporations in the world, because that’s where the progress of the climate crisis will ultimately be decided and nowhere else. What these gentlemen decide decides for better or for worse,” suggested God Jonah gone.
“Sure, they’ll let me in there. Then I give a flaming speech, they will look at each other and do everything differently,” he remarked cynically, “Is that how you imagine it?”
“See, you got me,” said God.
“And what’s in it for me?” Jonah asked further.
“The satisfaction of having saved the world, for example,” suggested God.
“Now that’s utter nonsense,” said Jonah, shaking his head, “The world doesn’t need to be saved. Only humanity will perish. This is good. We don’t have to worry too much anymore. And otherwise the earth will recover after this damned Homo sapiens incident. Everything will be fine.”
“Sure, that’s going to be the case,” said God, “but it’s not just those who are to blame for the misery who come to kiss their hands, but billions of people who didn’t even have the opportunity to destroy the climate and think of them Billions of innocent animals. Or do you really want to take responsibility for that, you, as an ethically motivated vegan?”
“Now that’s really mean of you to remind me of my responsibility if I’m supposed to do something that is completely impossible,” explained Jonah.
“How do you want to know if you haven’t tried it?” God asked, slowly noticing that Jonah’s resistance was beginning to crumble, “Besides, it would be a nice trip, you can say yes I tried it, tried everything possible. And remember, it worked before, with Nineveh.”
“It’s okay,” Jonah actually relented, “I’ll try, but I’m telling you, I won’t even be allowed in there. If so, then I’ll turn around and go home. And then you’ll never bother me again.”
“Very nice,” God replied. Then there was a snap of the fingers and Jonah was standing right in front of the conference hotel where all the bosses of the largest, climate-destroying companies had gathered. That made it unnecessary to ask how he was supposed to get there.