בהתחלה ברא אלוהים
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
But the earth was error and confusion.
Darkness over Primal Swirl’s face
Shower of God swinging over the face of the water. (Gen. 1:1)
In the beginning
not at the beginning
for God created the earth in time,
the time of determination
time as a continuum,
as a sequence
as compliance,
as an indicator
and obligation.
But the earth was error and confusion.
Therefore, God made order
shattered the chaos
in favor of order.
Everything in its place.
The sky up,
the earth down.
The sun and the moon and the stars in the sky,
plants and animals on earth.
The water into the sea,
the earth on land,
including the animals
those who belonged in the water
those who belonged on land
and those that belonged in the air.
From day one
to ponder that nothing
is anywhere where
it doesn’t belong.
You there and you there and you there.
And me there.
God as the conqueror of chaos
and ruler of order.
The great father.
Establishment of patriarchy
of the room clearing supervisor.
Who dared to disagree?
Nature is female, is chaos.
Chaos and confusion.
It takes a strong, patriarchal hand.
to become master
to be
to stay.
Everything in its place.
Chaos creates confusion.
Clear structures help.
Make life possible.
In the beginning was I.
But not how it should be.
I, individuated, atomized,
that’s fine.
But in the beginning
in my beginning
I was divided, holistic.
I was born
and felt whole.
Connected to life
the sky and the earth.
I was madness and confusion.
Darkness over Primal Swirl’s face.
That couldn’t be.
Put in place
which henceforth should be mine.
My place, my view
and what I got to see
that was the world
my world,
the bourgeois, conservative, Central European world
with their values.
Plato’s cavemen saw shadows.
I see colorful pictures.
Always the same.
Of the desirable.
From the content of life.
From the meaningful.
Having is desirable.
Having is the purpose of life.
Having makes sense.
And once I learned
not to leave my place
came the wheel, the wheel of life.
And I was a good girl.
Madness and confusion were expelled
and the light of propriety
brightened my face.
I was born autonomous
gifted with autonomy.
Loving and devoted and open.
Then I was told
how and whom and when I had to love
to turn, was allowed to open.
A lot of time and energy is spent on it
me the autonomy of love and lack of structure
exorcise to replace by the laws of structure and domination.
That’s called education.
For the good of the people,
is said.
But actually it serves
to funnel structures.
Pass on values and moral concepts,
to learn,
what to do and what not
to do what is appropriate and what is not.
It must not be questioned.
It is not questioned, mostly.
Training to Pavlov’s people.
Internalization of the rules of the game,
to repeat for so long
until they are integrated
so much that there is no longer any need
for an external stimulus.
It’s called superego.
Over-father.
God.
Guardian of manners and order,
of heteronomy,
of foreign law.
Woe,
if it occurred to me
to listen to that voice inside me again
who might even tell me
that the enacted law contradicts life.
Woe to a society
who cannot prevent
that too many are thinking
of the law of life.
I was born
and felt whole.
I came into society
and felt atomized.
A single, tiny particle in its place.
Seated in the wheel of life.
School for training.
Profession for a living.
Retirement for rest.
Education to get a job,
where you make money
earn money to consume
consume to possess to prove
that you are good
that you do something.
To be busy with things
who have nothing to do with me.
Leisure time as compensation.
Sport to look good.
Culture to have a say
but there is nothing
what touches me.
In the circle of life
there is no touch
but only forward.
The circle of a life,
life to run in circles.
From birth to death
to keep people busy.
Decent people get up early.
Is said.
Decent people get up in the morning
because they go to work.
They know,
that they are decent people
because they get up in the morning
and do a job.
After work they go shopping
because they earn money as decent people
and can go shopping.
Then they come home
throw the shopped things to the others,
which they bought just as superfluous,
to be tired in the evening
from work and shopping,
because decent people are tired
above all of being decent.
Decent people go to work all week
from Monday to Friday,
to regenerate at the weekend.
Maybe with more shopping.
Or with sport, always with a performance character.
Or with going out, as they say,
eat and drink cram
what’s going on but above
all they need to regenerate
from being decent.
Decent people keep it up
week after week,
month after month,
year after year.
Just interrupted
through holidays and Christmas.
The festival when most people are murdered.
In all decency.
To the work-shopping-leisure decency
to be able to correspond
do you have to do things
many, many things.
Generate resources,
to produce things
to consume produced things,
to put consumed things in their place,
dust things that are in their place,
choose to walk or use,
throw away dusted, walked, used things,
forget thrown away things
replace forgotten things with consume,
and in turn resources are generated,
so that the new things can be produced.
Always faster.
The cycle of having
to run in circles
like hungry people
that entwine
without ever getting enough
to fill an inner void
that cannot be filled with things.
And yet there seems to be no other way
no other possibilities,
whether inanimate or alive.