Recently I went into myself. I probably didn’t have anything better right now, or at least nothing else to do, or a better or at least different place to go. I’ve also wanted to do this for a long time, because everyone always says, take a look inside yourself. It’s a great experience. Well, you don’t always get there straight away. As they say, why don’t you go to Gramatneusiedl, it’s nice there too, I might think so too, you could do that when there’s time and the weather is right and the air isn’t too dry. But this walk in me, that was just right, because it was rather independent of the weather, and luckily I was there, so I didn’t have to laboriously find an appointment that would have been good for both of us, in short, the circumstances were extremely favorable and promising. And Gramatneusiedl wouldn’t run away from me either.
I didn’t want to miss such a great experience in the long run. After all, I finally wanted to be able to get involved, in the ranks of all those who had already done this walk. Then I suddenly realized that I had approached this topic a little too casually, so to speak unprepared and without any further information, e.g. What travel time should one expect on average? Should I pack a snack or would I be back in time for dinner? And if it were to take even longer, would I be able to find suitable accommodation without any internet at all? That would definitely not work in me, when it doesn’t even want to go in a silly tunnel, and only then so deep inside me? But that also meant I couldn’t call anyone if I got lost, sprained my ankle. But what was that all about? Where was my spirit of discovery, my spontaneity? Think of Amundsen. After all, he had no idea when he left for the South Pole, and it wouldn’t be as cold at my destination as it was there. No, it certainly wouldn’t be cold inside me. To be on the safe side, I raided the fridge after all, and then I was ready. I went into myself, explored every corner, turned into every side street and followed every clue. In a word, I was extraordinarily thorough on my way through myself, even though I wanted to leave after just a few minutes, since everything seemed so familiar to me and was therefore rather uninteresting to boring. But no, I didn’t give up that easily. Now I was finally there, now I wanted to see it through to the end, even to the bitter end if I had to. Once or twice I actually thought there was something new that I didn’t know, but then it was just something I had just forgotten. I was thorough, consistent and persistent, but it didn’t change anything. What is not there cannot be forced. Far from any experience, let alone a great one, I found myself suitably frustrated. Anything more exciting than that, I thought, even Gramatneusiedl.
And when you came to me – I had coffee and cake prepared, suddenly there was no longer a question and any concerns were gone as you went into me and showed me how I would never have been able to see myself when you showed me discovered sides that I would never have discovered in myself. Seeing me through your eyes is the way, in your openness and devotion, there I can be, growing, becoming, and yet always being. We then drove together to Gramatneusiedl and Croatian-Tschantschendorf, because it doesn’t matter where I’m going with you. With you it’s beautiful everywhere, regardless of the weather, even Gramatneusiedl or Croatian Tschantschendorf.
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