„I need you,“ you said – I said nothing.
„I need you like I need air,“ you said – I said nothing.
„I need you like water so as not to dry out,“ you said – I said nothing.
„I need you like plants need the sun to grow,“ you said – I didn’t say anything, I just got very cold.
„If you’re not there, then I’ll suffocate,“ you said further – I still didn’t say anything.
„If you’re not there, then I’ll dry up,“ you said further – I still didn’t say anything.
„If you’re not there, then I wither,“ you said further – I still didn’t say anything, only goosebumps ran down my back.
„Why are you just sitting there and not saying anything? I pour out my heart to you and make you a wonderful declaration of love, but you remain silent towards me!” You insisted.
„That’s what it is, towards me, depersonalizing and using,“ I retorted.
„I told you, you are air, water and sun to me, and you say I depersonalize and use you,“ you replied.
„Neither the sun, nor the water, nor the air are persons,“ I interjected.
„But those are just metaphors, symbols of how much I need you,“ you tried to correct.
„That’s what scares me, that you need me like that, actually abuse me,“ I said quietly, already shivering despite the warmth.
„If you need me like the air you breathe, then it’s my fault if you suffocate. If you need me like water, then I have to take it upon myself when you dry up. If you need me like the sun, then I have to take responsibility when you die. If you need me like you say, then I don’t have a chance to think about what I really want anymore, because you force me into a responsibility that is not mine and cannot be, the responsibility for your happiness and your existence ‚ I tried to explain myself.
„But that’s the way it is when you love!“, you tried to get across.
„That’s how it is when you love, yes, when you love yourself and secure yourself in the other, make sure of your own being about the other, but if you love me, then it should be liberating and not imprisoning,“ gab me back
„So you don’t need me at all?“, you asked me.
„I need you like the breeze on a hot summer evening that cools you and is good for you, but I can go on living without suffocating. It’s not necessary, but it’s better,” I said – you listened.
„I need you like the summer rain, on a muggy day, which relieves and invigorates the tension, the heat, but on which I do not depend. It’s not essential, but it’s liberating,” I said – you listened.
„I need you like the sun’s rays breaking through the clouds on a cold, cloudy November day and putting a smile on my face. I’m attuned to the cold so it’s not necessary, but it’s exhilarating,” I said – and you listened.
Nothing more, but a slight sigh of relief, perhaps, through the previous irritation, and the warmth came back to me. I took you in my arms.
„I don’t need you because I love you, freely, unconditionally and without wanting to dominate you. Every day you can make your decision anew, and whatever it is, I will accept it, and if one day you go, one day you take a different path, you can do it lightly,“ I said, and you leaned on me