There was nothing more than the kind of simple happiness that was not grandly announced or expected, but simply was there, with all naturalness, as if there could be nothing else, as if it couldn’t be otherwise.
I plunged into the clear night, into its sweet, beguiling scent, into the gentle breath of the wind – everything so familiar, so wonderfully familiar. It smiled at me – and I smiled back. The melody of the moment made me dance. I took you by the hand, teased you, regardless of your protest, regardless of your wish to lie still. No, at such a moment I couldn’t keep still, I couldn’t stand – and you weren’t allowed to keep still, not stand still. Nobody could see us except the ferryman and the stars above us. And then I turned my gaze to heaven, and still found it in the flowing chaos.
„Speak, and it will.“, you said to me, as you did before.
„I want the sky full of stars and the full moon that fills our night with a velvety light.“, I spoke to you.
At that moment it became, millions and millions of stars above us, calm and steady, and the full, round moon that bathed us in its white, milky light. I pulled you behind me here, full of the most irrepressible joie de vivre. I wanted to sing, dance, laugh, preferably all at the same time with you. I felt completely empty and full to the brim, empty of thoughts and full of happiness. Wasn’t I just recently plunged into the abyss and almost splintered? A whole life seemed to lie between this then and now, a whole life and a creation of the world. Was it true or was it just an evil deception as it sometimes appears in feverish dreams? It seemed so unreal, far behind the fog, far behind us, yes outside of us, passed on to someone out there. It was none of my business, and I got to the point where I was convinced it was never my business. Now, this with you, that was the only thing that concerned me that affected and could affect me. I let go of your hand in order to be able to move more freely and took it back right away, because I had to feel to make sure that it was, really was. I hid under the roof of the willow trees, to come back to you immediately, had to see you to know. It was too big to grasp until you grabbed me out of the movement and hugged me very tightly in your arms, my face very close to yours, forcing me to hold still, and your gaze made me speechless, without contradiction. How long you looked at me like you wanted to suck me in, completely. Carefully, just with your fingertips, you stroked my hair, my forehead, my cheek. „I was so scared.“, you finally said, „Such fear never to hold you again, never to be allowed to look at you again, so terrible fear.“