Experiences are inevitable. Encounters change you, and this change is irreversible. If I want the encounter, then I have to want it completely, fully engage with it and completely lose myself in it. If I cut back on this wholeness, the encounter doesn’t happen either. It’s like jumping with open eyes into a black mountain lake, head first, because the you is the unfathomable.
“Come, jump”, you ask me, and as an assurance that nothing will happen to me, that there is no rock lurking under the calm, opaque surface of the water, I have nothing but your word, which can be nothing and everything. All I have to do is make the decision whether to jump or not. What happens then, what awaits me, I can only accept with all humility, with all greatness.
“Come on, jump”, you ask me, and I jump, pierce the surface, and find myself unharmed, I still find myself unharmed. A new, strange, challenging world opens up to me, the depth of which cannot be measured, while the surface of the water gently closes over me. And there is no turning back.
“Come on, jump”, you ask me, and I feel like someone who has just been given back paradise. Here it will be, here it will happen, the fulfillment of my unexpected longing, here I will see the glow, the blue flower and the more than everything. So that I begin, with fiery enthusiasm, to discover this new world that you are, to experience that you are, in all its wholeness and clarity.
„Come on, jump,“ you ask me, and I jumped, dipped, got caught and got lost. The surface of the water above me has closed again, preventing the decline. Then you withdrew, went away and left me here as if you hadn’t known it any more, forgetting from one moment to the next that you had said, “Come on, jump”. Now I’m stuck – the colors have disappeared and have left the world in gray. The stories and melodies have vanished, all sounds have fallen silent – and I am surrounded in the dark, rigid silence. But I could have done otherwise than you asked me to. Did I ever have an alternative after your call came to me? Did I ever have a chance after you whispered to me, „Come on, jump“?
I enjoyed it, tasted the luck and was able to participate in the echo of the bond. I have never thought about what will come next, what will follow after the expulsion from Paradise. Nothing but unsatisfied longing, because the experience is inevitable, the change irreversible. Never again will it be the way it was, because never again will I be the way I was.