Life is too short for boring stories

Hans in luck, that was the boy who – according to the Grimm brothers – received a lump of gold the size of a child’s head as a reward at the end of his apprenticeship. With that he set off on the journey to his mother, during which he exchanged the gold for a horse, the horse for a cow, the cow for a pig, the pig for a goose, the goose for a grindstone, which he lost in the well sunk to return home as the happiest person in the world. If you were to tell it nowadays it would read like this: Hans, a specialist advisor to a hedge fund (either an equity fund or any other investment bank), receives the miller who is looking for an investment opportunity.
„What do you have, Mr. Miller?“ Hans asked him.
“Nothing,” replies the miller truthfully, the miller is and is called miller, which turns out to be very practical.
“That is ideal. If you own something, then we would have to think of something solid, but if you don’t own anything, everything can be made out of it,” Hans replies happily.

„How do you want that to work?“ Asks the miller, who does not understand, although it is not easy to understand and normally everyone will be careful not to explain it.
“Well, very easy. Let’s say you are investing a lump of gold, a child’s head the size of a lump of gold … „, Hans begins, when he is interrupted again.
“But I was just saying that I have nothing, let alone a lump of gold,” protests the miller. “Exactly, because if you had it, you wouldn’t need me, but please allow me to continue”, and the miller gets a stern look, who immediately falls silent, “We are writing a certificate for the lump of gold. We resell this certificate and use it to buy into agriculture, e.g. a horse. We take the horse certificate and stay in the industry. That is less noticeable. We will surely get a cow certificate for this and we will sell the cow certificate and buy a certificate for a goose, with which we then acquire the certificate for a millstone, and then set it on fire. And everyone won,” explains Hans, and leans back in his desk chair, satisfied, while he thinks about whether he should order a coffee, as a reward for this great business tactic, so to speak.
„All win? What do I get out of it?” The miller dares to speak up again.
“Quite simply, now the debts are so great that we should actually go bankrupt. But after the state is afraid because we are too big for it, we get taxpayers money to consolidate. The citizens like to pay, then I get a big bonus and you get your lump of gold back,” explains Hans.
„But how can you explain to taxpayers that education and social spending will be cut just to pay your bonus and my lump of gold?“ Asks the miller, still confused, stuck in traditional views of good and bad.
“The taxpayer is presented with the fairy tale of lost jobs and systemic relevance, and when the billions flow, then my bonus and your lump of gold do not matter. Everyone is happy because everyone gets what they want. And the taxpayer knows what he’s working for,” explains Hans, and finally orders his coffee.

[1] The world wants to be cheated, so be cheated.

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