There are things that cannot be changed. The weather, for example, or fate or the consequences of decisions that you make. She’s been acting rather stubborn lately, though. She thought she could get her way, simply because she imagined that she wanted this or that or just didn’t want something. There were some things he had a right to since they said yes. But she could imagine what she wanted, he wouldn’t let his rights be taken away, and if she wasn’t will, then he just needed force.
No, not that he broke her bones or showed bruises on her delicate skin. Maybe violence is the wrong word too. It would be more appropriate to say that he helped her will a little, and when he lay panting and sweating on her, then she didn’t seem to mind at all. She found a way. She just slipped out of herself, sat on the other side of the bed and felt nothing, didn’t even smell the disgusting smell of alcohol on his breath. She got up and strolled to the window. She didn’t want to watch. It was disgusting what happened to the other. But she couldn’t go away completely either. So, she just stood at the window and looked out at the deserted, night streets. The neighbors had a new car again, she noticed casually, and the laundry still needs to be washed. With them, with the neighbors, everything just fits. What is happening to you cannot happen to the woman, because she is always willing. All he has to do is look and everything is scratched. If you always have to act like that. Actually, it serves you right. If you didn’t want a man, you wouldn’t have taken one. But then we wouldn’t have the beautiful house and the garden and the vacation in the Caribbean in summer and the vacation in St. Moritz in winter. For all of this he has deserved a little attention. No, you’re just too stubborn. You take everything and don’t want to give anything for it. That can’t go well. She looked at her fingernails. Why do you always gnaw them off? Are you so nervous? That has to change too. You can’t bite your fingernails when you’ve got everything and you’re fine. What happens here, you have to put down to yourself. And don’t start crying now. You know I hate it at all. Tomorrow you should go to the doctor with the little one. She coughs so much. Don’t you hear it? You have to hear something like that, as a mother, and you have nothing to do anyway. With the neighbors, yes, everything fits. It’s so easy to be happy if you just jumped over your shadow every now and then. But no, you’re so stubborn, you say you couldn’t because he doesn’t approach you and because he’s not affectionate. Is that easy nothing? Isn’t he incredibly tender right now? Yes, scary is perhaps an exaggeration, but at least a little. You are one of those women who have everything and are not satisfied with anything. Therefore, you are wrong and not him, because he deserves a little relaxation and understanding. Then it becomes quiet in the room. He gets up and goes back to the television. Something’s going to happen. She slips back in and crouches down very small under the covers. Why can’t she just walk away and leave it all behind? Why can’t she avoid it? She has responsibility, and that’s why she shakes herself and gets up. The laundry still needs to be washed.