Hasn't it always been that way? (3) - Seite 2 von 2

“I had 15 years to think,” he begins, gazing into the distance, who are probably following his thoughts, “but I didn’t. As you said, I was busy. That was my excuse. I was always busy. I lost you, you and your brother and your mother, but it wasn’t my fault, because after all, everything I did was terribly important. Because I was convinced that I was doing exactly the right thing, I put everything on you and went on with my life as before. For 15 years I could not see my part in it, let alone accept it. I’ve actually succeeded all these years. And then came this Corona story, the home office, no matter, anyway, these few weeks were enough to make it clear to me what I had given up, lost, what I had done wrong. It is exciting to see how well you can lie to yourself, bury everything with constant activity and distractions, so that you do not even notice that you are simply throwing away your life as if you had several of them. And that day, today, I realized that it made no sense. Nothing of what I do, nothing of all the pursuits that are of no use other than keeping me away from life. But life is encounter and togetherness. But I let that go. So, I took the whiskey and dissolved two boxes of sleeping pills in it. I thought that should be enough to kill me.” The truth is clear and open to them. Nothing about it is glossed over or behaved. It is like it is.
“That means … that means …”, she begins to stutter when she realizes the scope of what she is doing, “If I had sponsored me today, if I hadn’t come now, in a few days. If I hadn’t decided to come right now without actually knowing why, would I have lost you forever without reconciliation being possible?”
“It looks like this,” he admits, “And when I saw that you wanted to drink the glass that was meant for me, I suddenly realized how much life we still have ahead of me that I mean I have never seen grandchildren and wanted nothing more than a relationship with you and them. Never in my life have I been aware of how many possibilities there are beyond having to. I’m ready for an encounter if you want to. “
“Of course, we want that,” replies his daughter, “I am so happy that I listened to my inner voice. Everything could have been so different. There is a second chance, mostly, but you have to take it as long as it’s not too late.” Whereupon they arrange a meeting, on the first day to Corona, at one o’clock. “But that you are punctual to me,” says his daughter before she leaves, back to her other life, in which he has no part. Not yet.