Sometimes I’m just so infinitely tired of the challenges of the day, of the persistent split that can be observed everywhere and ultimately makes no sense, because nobody really wants it and still everything is done to make it progress. But on the contrary. One starts underhanded verbal warfare on the most meager occasions and seriously expects people to come together? I have long stopped asking why, even though I would like to understand it. But how should it be otherwise, if one gets the impression that with each statement after the one reprehensible point is searched, on which one can ride around mercilessly.
Sometimes I’m just so tired when I see people moving away from each other who actually want to approach each other but who, out of pride or bossiness, or thinking of power, or out of sheer disrespect, see personal defeat in every form of conciliatory action. Because we have learned it all too long that everything we do is about victory or defeat, domination or submission. Is it really that hard to say goodbye to this and instead seek the common that unites us? Moreover, to recognize the uniqueness of the other as an enrichment, rather than as a competition, to be widened and inspired by it.
Sometimes I’m just so infinitely tired when I have to explain myself again and yet still do not feel I’m understood, because only the divisive and not the connecting is seen, the contradiction and not the encouragement, only that what is in question and not what should be supportive. In the end, it usually happens that I have to ask myself if we are actually speaking the same language and if the words mean the same thing to us. Is it really that difficult to distinguish between the personal and informative part of a message?
Sometimes I’m just so infinitely tired, because I have to watch how much is destroyed without meaning and reason, in order to overlook or not to accept the inherent power to build. What is so desirable about doing everything bad instead of using the connecting talents as constructive? Maybe even to the realization of a common, better world.
Sometimes I’m just so tired, because I see how life is disregarded, no matter where you look, and then justified with economic necessity, because I do not understand that others do not see it, which is so obvious. What good is the best economic progress for us if humanity is left behind and we turn each other into envious enemies when we can do much more together. Maybe a sense beyond resentment and incomprehension, in that happiness that we all ultimately strive for.
Sometimes I’m just so tired, my head is as heavy as my heart, and I just want to hide in myself, see nothing, hear nothing, and explain nothing. And if so, then you look at me as only you look at me, with that look that recognizes the sadness and pain. You know that and do not ask any further, because I no longer have to explain myself to you, because you know about me and just take me in your arms, without a word, and yet so speaking, pulling me very close to you, so that I can in your arm, in your proximity and approaching role. Very close to you, your warmth flows through me and gives me so much strength, even for the morning that will come. You discourage fatigue and discouragement, apathy and lifelessness, replacing it with your affection and affection.
And then I’m just so infinitely grateful that in addition to everything that makes me so tired, there is also something that enlivens and fills me, with joy and confidence, so infinitely grateful that it exists in my life.