We never really start from scratch. We always get into a so far. When we are born, so in a ready situation, and from the first moment expectations are placed on us, depending on the environment, depending on the family. Of course, it is good to have an environment and a family that can provide it. How many babies are given up from the first day? But most of us are in an environment of expectation, like me. It is finished. Of course, they are, those expectations, and expanding and invigorating, expectations of health and happiness and advancement.
„I want you to stay healthy, my child,“ or „I wish you to
find happiness, my child,“ or „I want you to live your life the way
you feel is right for you,“ that is the healthy expectations that you can
really grow into, grow into, but that’s usually done away with as something
that would self-understand anyway. As if you had to talk about it at all. Of
course, and unspoken, and then only on very special occasions. Just as it seems
for the first time that life is terminated by death when it happens, not a
moment before it is thought about. „None of us lives forever. We all have
to die.“ Of course, we know, and yet we focus on trifles and trivialities.
At some point, it does not matter anymore, but as long as it is not so far, we
leave more and more space in our lives for the unimportant and incidental
things, raise expectations that are neither healthy nor purposeful, and yet
regard it as enormously important. Unquestionably, they are passed on, from
generation to generation. After all, we want our children to feel better, but
what is better? Are we feeling so bad? Why do not we look to it that we are
better, so that our children are allowed to grow up in an atmosphere of
better-being, but here comes the opposite conclusion. They also have to suffer
a little, because they should not feel better, but only later.
Expectations on how their lives should look, which school they have to visit, which occupation they have to take, and best of all the private life situation, all predetermined, according to the social conditions. Man has to be man and behave like that, woman has to stay woman and behave like that. And do not grow a beard. Do not present yourself as she wants or as he pleases. It’s disgusting. We are full of understanding, tolerance and open-mindedness, but only up to a certain, well-defined limit set at the tip of our nose. Snobbery? Phew, we do not, but still my child should not settle with those there, that cannot be good. You have to know where you’re going, even without knowing the subject. Not that these expectations have to be fulfilled unconditionally, after all, the child has the free choice to live up to expectations or be ostracized, but freedom exists without listening, without thinking, without compromise.
„Do not spoon the soup you put in,“ and you do not want to spoon it, but rather stick a third iron band around your heart, even more constricted. Do not listen, do not see and above all do not think. „I do not want to disappoint those I love and those who love me,“ I thought as I pulled the tape very tight, so I was prepared for the world out there. adjusted and in line with expectations, because after all, I bore responsibility, not simply as myself, but as a link between the generations. One should not take oneself too seriously, because the single life counts only as such, to pave the way from one generation to the next, yes the way to see, but who please goes beautiful then on this path, paved with martyrs of self-denial, probably by the self-chosen enlightened ones. But this is another story.