When you lie next to me, in the tall grass, on a warm full moon night, we look up to the stars, hear the crickets chirping around us that still exist, because there is the tall grass and the bats fly overhead and we say nothing, because being with you is enough and knowing that this silence is one that expresses the bondage, then life is just wonderful and harmonious and beautiful. More is not needed. But it is not always like that. Not only because there are cold summer evenings, but because I often do not manage to find myself alone in the fact that it no longer needs.
But I am learning. Day by day I realize that these moments of the simple,
the quiet, the intimate, are the most beautiful, and I hope that you understand
that I must first arrive when my mistrust of simple happiness is greater than
my confidence ,
When we work together, quietly, pragmatically and smoothly, because everyone knows what he has to do, because the mutual agreement works objectively and everyone gives their best, interlocking, supportive, enriching, then I know that the result will be the same. We try not to outdo each other, to be better, but togetherness in this case actually means togetherness. More is not needed to do it well. But it is not always like that. Not only because we not only work together, but because I cannot find myself in the fact that I do not have to constantly prove that I can, that you do not demand this evidence, but at most me.
But I am learning. From day to day I realize that this kind of cooperation, of togetherness, also in creative work, is the only goal-oriented, and I believe that you see it, that I am working on myself, the constant urge to prove myself behind to let me and I assume that you acknowledge my achievement as I do yours.
If I engage in something I’ve never done before and then have to do it all by myself, because I fancy it, then you’re here and offer me your help. Astonished, I look at you and say to you, probably a little unkind sometimes, that I do not want you to give me to understand that I cannot do that. After all, I have my right to self-determination and can do much more alone than you believe me to be. And when I am hanging on the edge of a cliff, just holding my finger, I still insist on my self-determination. How far can self-employment go before it tips over in stubbornness? I distrust the simple help that you want to give me because I think you nail me to it for the rest of my life.
But I am learning. From day to day, I realize that help can be simply help, because you do not have to do everything yourself, that help is something that is offered, not to make me small, but because friends just do it. Being there, for each other, just like that. And I’m sure you’ll go along with my development until the day I’m ready to accept.
It’s so easy to be happy with you, embrace life and accept it because you can. Mostly I can too. And then you take me by the hand. It’s just good. good simple, with each other, you with me and me with you. Because it is so and nothing further needs to be said. Not even that it is. But if I’m unhappy, life seems to push me away, then I’ll leave you too. I do not want you to hug me when I cry, because I do not want to cry and even with the sadness would have nothing to do. Above all, I do not want to admit it, especially not you, and because I never quite get rid of thinking that you’ll feel superior when you comfort me.
But I am learning. Day by day I realize that you want to hug me, even when I’m sad because you want to be mine, even in my sadness or maybe just there, and I know that you realize that I’m getting more and more learn to confide in me, in everything that I am, because I also realize more and more that your affection applies to me, in everything I am, always a little more, day by day.