She paused and looked up at the stars, as if she would find there the
beginning of her story.
„My mother and dad got married, and as far as
I can tell, they must have been happy, because there’s nothing to report over
the next few years, and there’s only one thing you cannot talk about and that is
the state of happiness. And it can only be a state, happiness, because there is
no development and no growth. For what? Actually, you are already there, where
you want to go. My mother and father were so happy with each other as long as
they were able to endure this condition and when they could not stand it any
longer, they decided to bring children into the world because that was supposed
to perfect their love. That’s the way to say so.
In truth, it is nothing more than wanting to feel life again, coming out of
the vegetative swamp of happiness, back into the disorder and chaos that is and
will continue to grow, life that is and remains indomitable and
incomprehensible, in its overflowing Fervor. A delusion, an intoxication, an
abandonment that nobody endures in the long run, so you have to build stages of
happiness to recover and rest a little, to regain enough strength to live life
again. That’s probably meant when someone says he lives fast or slow. There are
probably people who consume as much life in a week as others in years do not,
and still do not get enough, still drooling and craving for more life, more and
more, more than anything that they do not know to name, and probably not what
that should be. Some go on indefatigably, and others – like my mother and
father – are just bringing children into the world. It should be at least two,
but then they got three in one fell swoop. Triplets, three girls, Sophie,
Sabrina, and Sarah, were called them, and now, now their luck should be
perfect.
Maybe it could have been so, but my mother
probably had no time to philosophize about happiness or its absence, because
her day was then determined by the needs of these three little girls. Once
again, she had given her life a completely new direction, made a decision that
was probably hers, and, as it turned out, had no impact. But she did not give
any more advice.“
