„What are you doing there?“ You asked, as you, as always
completely surprising, put your head in at the door, and as always you acted
driven, so I felt driven to respond as quickly as possible. Everything always
had to sound like a gun shot.
„I’m thinking,“ I replied, to gain some
space.
„So you’re doing nothing but sitting and
thinking,“ you asked, and it seemed piqued.
„No, I’m thinking of what I could answer you,
but sitting with this, that’s not bad at all,“ I said, still disagreeing
with me what I was doing. But how could one have a clear idea, if someone stood
at the door and fidgeted with energy as if pulled up. Suddenly you started to
twist your neck.
„Do you perhaps read?“, You tried to
fathom the secret.
„No, I’m not reading,“ I replied, glad
to have gained some time.
„But then you think about it?“, You
said, apparently glad to finally have found a solution to your problem,
„There is a problem that concerns you and that you are trying to
solve.“
„No, I’m not thinking,“ I had to
disappoint you, but that was not all, I had to admit, „I have no problems
to solve.“
„You, so I do not know what to say!“,
You blurt out, and I thought that looks like indignation now.
„Take a deep breath and tell me alone what
you want to say. I have time,“ I tried to calm you, but the shot somehow
backfired.
„I should calm down? You do not even know
what I look like when I’m worried, but you, that beats everything!“ You
exclaimed, and now I was sure that was outrage.
„But why are you so upset, I’m not doing
anything,“ I replied.
„That’s exactly it. Madame has time. Madame
has no problems. No one in the world has time. Everyone has problems. I do not
know where my head is and where I should start to solve my problems, and you,
you just sit there and take care of nothing,“ you rebuilt yourself.
„Everyone has problems? Nobody has time?
What’s your problem? Why do not you have time?“ I asked next.
„Yeah, what do I know, everything that’s
going on. And if you do not have your own problems then you can take care of
yourself, get involved in something. Nowadays you can get involved with
anything and everything,“ you replied indignantly.
„For what?“ I asked, genuinely
interested.
„For the animals, the environment, the
refugees, for politics or anything else, but do anything,“ you challenged
me when finally, the enlightenment hit me and I could not help smiling.
„Why are you laughing so funny now?“ You
asked me with a frown, probably because your curtain sermon did not produce the
desired success.
„Because I’ve finally found an answer,“
I answered frankly.
„Answer? On which question?“, You
answered in a puzzled way.
„Well, the ones you asked me at the
beginning,“ I explained with satisfaction.
„And that was?“ You asked.
„What I’m doing, you asked,“ I
explained.
„And, what are you doing?“ You pound
relentlessly.
„Nothing, I’m not doing anything,“ I
replied calmly. Then I heard the door slam so that I could continue in peace
with what I had been doing all this time.
“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”― Shannon L. Alder
A very important sentence – we should keep that in mind