The nameless sex (11): The freedom not to be needed

„Just live and nothing else. Pure minimalism,“ repeated my friend,“ and do not need the man. That sounds far too seductive and simple to be true. “
„You see, you are distrustful of simplicity,“ I replied, „Why only?“
„Because it would be grotesque, if it were true,“ she summed up what would probably mean a lot. „We rack ourselves all our lives, look and seek, straighten, twist and stretch ourselves, and then it is needless? Do you think this is so easy to accept, suddenly to hear that everything you’ve done is a nonsense, and that what matters is actually always in us or in front of our nose? “

„And only to not admit it, do we prefer to continue as before, in order to get no result? Just to maintain a false self-image?“ I asked in return, „Why is it so hard to say what I was doing so far was not the right thing, I try something new. Is not it so that it keeps life exciting. It can also simply mean that I have not been ready yet, because simplicity needs to live also own development. “
„The simplicity and the life,“ she summarized, „And not to hold and not to be possessed. Be my own woman. Regardless of a man I do not need. So we stroke the men out of our lives and everything is good. “
„I did not say that,“ I replied, because I once again found myself grossly misunderstood. „For not needing someone does not mean that he cannot occupy an important place in my life. So I do not need the woman. Actually, it is not a problem in the modern world alone to survive, thus without closer social connection. How to feel is another matter. But it works. Not to need, therefore, not to be dependent, not to be instructed relieve me and the partner. If I depend on a man, depend on him, that means responsibility for him. I will never know if he stays with me because he wants or because he takes his responsibility seriously. If I can say I do not need you, I give him the opportunity to decide. It is a coexistence in freedom and self-determination. And this freedom means that I can open myself, because I am accepted as myself. Imagine there is someone around you who depends on you. I would never find peace. If I were to die tomorrow, it would be in the consciousness to leave someone alone who cannot live without me, in the worst case. If I am not needed, I have the reassurance that after death I can continue to live and be happy. That’s what I want, for the people I love. Nothing more than that they are satisfied and happy and alive. And if I know that, it’s good. Then we meet each other on the same level, regardless of whether a man or a woman, if one acknowledges and accepts one another, without believing that one is superior and the other is inferior, then it is as it should be. Then we can discover each other and learn to become more themselves. This is not possible if one is suppressed. He can never be himself. It is not only that women suffer from oppression but also many men when they have to play the game. Many do not want that anymore. Everyone has a potential that he can only live out in freedom. Everyone benefits from this. “
„And that is why the matter of feminism is properly understood as one that affects man and woman,“ I heard a voice that was not actually heard here, although it was a familiar voice. Puzzled, we both turned our heads in the direction from which the voice came. Secretly, quietly and quietly, my friend’s friend had made himself comfortable in an arm-chair.
„How long have you been there?“ She asked involuntarily.
„Long enough to know you’re not going badly, even without me,“ he replied mischievously. „And it really seemed a little as if you were very happy without a man, in your physical connection , But perhaps, because you are still too much attached to the old principle in your thinking. I will tell you the story of Lilith, and then you will understand what I mean. „

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