“You’re no longer interested in me,” she says with clenched lips. He would have to be on his guard at this point, but he is still unsuspicious.
“How do you feel about that?” He asks, mostly with real interest, but always with amazement.
“I always have to sit alone here. You never sit down with me, “she says.
“But we have only yesterday …” he tries, but he does not come any further.
“Because you wanted to watch the game. You never sit with me when I want to look at something. You do not take part in what interests me, “she says laconically. He decides to do what she wants. He hopes to end this senseless discussion.
“You just sit with me because I said it,” she says, as he has sat down.
“And what’s wrong with that?” He asks frankly.
“That never comes from you. If I have to tell you, then it does not make any sense, “she says.
We would like to get out of the conversation at this point, because one thing is clear. No matter what he does or says, he has already lost. Behind injured vanities, and the certainty, man and woman cannot get together. But why is it necessary that women in so many cases do everything to escalate a situation, then to stylize themselves as a victim? But I want to go on. Why do not we deprive ourselves of a tantalizing excitement of devouring a novel in which a woman submits with pleasure, indeed with pleasure, to an ignorant, pretentious, narcissistic, mentally, and emotionally subdued man, and is still highly praised? Why do we understand the individuality of every current development in the up-and-coming drooling pack behavior?
Cosmetics become a masquerade with interchangeable faces. Body cult, who submits to a questionable ideal that negates any individuality. Fashion trends, which pretend that we have a choice. Absurdity par excellence. In doing so, nothing else happens except when we do everything we can to make sure it is gifted by others. The outside view becomes the true value measure. Skeptically, we follow every eye. We leave the judgment to the others and take it unasked. This makes us completely dependent. Nothing we do or think is independent of this judgment, because we want to please. Curry favor. Discussing an opinion. A judgment. A look. We do not ask what we think is good, what we like, or whether we recognize our performance. All this does not count because it comes from ourselves. Thus, we are degrading ourselves to the object of judgment. But not enough, we judge others all of the time. This dependence leads to the fact that we cannot exist without the eyes of the other, are non-existent. A positive assessment makes us flourish, whereas a negative one devalues us completely. But we cannot just go and demand that. It must come by itself. But as time goes by, it’s getting rarer. And that leads us to such talks, as it was initially sketched.
This makes the trenches ever deeper and deeper. We continue diligently to mock ourselves over what we ourselves have instigated. Yet we do not see it. Find always the guilt in the other, which deprives us of his affection, his gaze. But how does it come about? Why do we let it happen in our lives that we negate our own gaze and alienate ourselves from ourselves, so that we leave our bodies, our totality? Why is this division so permanent? Why is it so hard to reconcile us with ourselves and to return to the totality? Why can we surrender the dominion over our seeing and being seen? Why do not we stay with us?