“You took a long time to get here,” I say, as I watched you enter the path, walk a few steps, hesitate, turn back, as if you were going away again, then staying, again and again, until you do But ultimately created, until here the bridge, on which I waited for you and also did not wait. Observing and yet staying with me, expecting, and yet not being prisoners of expectation, enduring your insecurity and yet hoping.
“I was not sure if I could take it, if I could take you on me,” you tell me, distance, still, security.
“If you can take it, I do not know. I cannot take your decisions, nor your consideration, but I do not need to take on you. You can come and stay and go again if you want. You can go and come back if you like. And I’ll let you come and go if I want to. It’s that simple, ultimately, “I reply.
“It all sounds so simple and uncomplicated, if you say so”, you notice thoughtfully.
“This is so simple and uncomplicated, if you want and will live and allow it,” I say confidently.
“You say it, and maybe you mean it, but between saying and being, that’s two different pairs of shoes. You are always promised great freedom, you get concessions and announcements, which are supposed to be completely released, and finally everything turns around and you are stuck in what the others wanted for you, nailed to the other one and committed. You can say something soon,” you tell me.
“You are afraid, so great fear of the possibility, much too much fear. There is much to be said, and never to be proved. I can commit myself for myself, and I can change my mind. I can say, and yet what else mean. Man is like that. But whether I have an idea or not, that can only be done about my actions. To admit or not to admit, these are the possibilities we have. Go or stay. Trust or mistrust. But never can someone make you future, there is never safety, “I say slowly. Perhaps it frightens you. Maybe you take it. But you stay.
“You do not want to nail me, do not take it and claim for you?”, you ask again.
“No I do not want this. Stay because you want it because I want it. Go because you want it, because I want it. And to be able to remain faithful to oneself, without obligation, without dissolution, to be whole and to remain, that is the way that allows a deal with one another, which means respect and attention,” I declare. Perhaps credible, because you sit with me to stay, just to stay a little while.
“It’s so hard to be so intolerable to ask for each word, whether it’ s right, if it’s not something else behind it, and that you do not ultimately make a knit from it,” you say thoughtfully dark water of the lake.
“Perhaps if you listen and remain authentic, if you set your own wishes and needs,” I try to approach, “Maybe it will.”