“You’ve made your way into my life, like a thief in the night,” I’m tempted to say, but it’s not true. I sat there in the middle of my life, when it suddenly knocked at the door, a little hesitant, perhaps, but not very enduring.
I rose from the doorway and went to the door. Already I had the latch in my hand when I suddenly stopped, because I expected no one and I had nothing to expect, I said. “Who are you?” I asked uncertainly. “Who are you?” Replied a voice from outside. Slowly I opened the door and found someone who was a stranger to me, but who also emanated familiarity. I had no name for it either for the stranger or the familiar. It is necessary to reach one another’s hands, in order to learn the unknown and familiar. There is a step towards one another to take on opportunities, indeed to justify possibilities. And we justified in ourselves the possibility of coexistence. We grasp the hand that is given to us and open ourselves to the openness of the receptive gaze. We approach each other, gently and dosed, but the more sustainable. Now we are standing in the antechamber, and it seems as if we first declared ourselves to be known to us, and I spread my arm, wisely, into my life, into which I would take you with me, as mine. Look out of your solves and falls on this life, and I see this mess.
In your gaze, I had forgotten about it, I had let myself be carried, but now, now life has me again, with this confusion, and yes, I want to ask you, that you see my life because you had long since been in the middle of it, wanted to take you in, that you see it as it is, but on this constellation, on all the unfinished and unsightly, I had forgotten. I wondered if I could expect this to happen, but a look in your eyes was enough that I knew I could and should not just, I had, because you were not someone who simply dropped by, briefly chatted and again went without leaving any traces left behind. In the middle of me you had set your tracks, and right through my life. So I took you all the more by the hand, took you in, into this confusion, invited you to sit with me. It did not stop you, this mess.
You looked around, and your look was purest benevolence, purest assumption, and what before seemed to me as a mere confusion, opened up to me as a variety. By your gaze I learned anew. By your acceptance I learned to see myself again. I learned to distinguish where order was necessary, and where chaos emerged as something new, unforeseen, unexpected, but above all in the midst of the unaccompanied, we were enriched, filled, and revived, a whole new form of systematics.
This nice, but i find it uneasy or unsettling considering our history. Wet day for protest
Why? I think, there is always a way.