19. Soap bubbles in the wind
Ruben and Lilith had animated discussed. Animated, but not excited. About this and that. Nothing that would have really affected. Nothing else. Sometimes it is good. Sometimes it is a distraction.
„So much seems to go wrong, and yet, there is no one standing to see how it could work properly,“ Lilith concluded a thought, „And if it does not fit, then they run away. As if it were better elsewhere. One takes oneself and its adaptations to life always with. No matter where you are. You are yourself. “
„Some already, but there are too few. The others storm past them. It does not matter,“ Ruben added when he finally realized that Lilith no longer meant what they were talking about,“ But what is really the matter? “
„What do you mean?“ Lilith asked evasively.
„You’re talking about people who run away, maybe from people who have run away from you?“ Ruben said, and Lilith looked up, looking at him. Why was she so easy to see? Or was it just for him to be so easy to see?
„I had dreamed,“ she began, „I had dreamed my life. It was a life in which I could bring myself to meet the challenges, and lastly, if the children were big, then, the image in me, we would get closer together again, my husband and I would enjoy life and our grandchildren. Would sit on the terrace and talk. Would we look at and do things for which so long as the time was missing. And then they all left. And what about my dreams? With my dream of life? What remains when all dreams are gone? They have been blown, like soap bubbles in the wind. It is nothing but a bitter aftertaste. But maybe it is also good when I get rid of my dreams. So I can not be disappointed any more. “
„And you mean, it’s all over, just like that? If a dream bursts, or is taken away, because it turned out to be a mere illusion and unfulfillable, does nothing come?“ asked Ruben.
„There is nothing left, for it was the dream that made a life. No, not any life, my life, „said Lilith, and it sounded a little defiant.
„You stand there and do nothing but look for the soap bubbles,“ said Ruben, „and if you do not see them again, you will still stand and still see the point where they disappeared,“ said Ruben.
„Do I have a choice? Is there anything else that is worth the dream? Is there still a dream for me? „, Lilith replied. And she looked at him. There was so much sadness in her look and resignation.
„Of course there is a dream for you. There’s always a dream, „Ruben said, as if to avoid it, for it sounded a little lame. So general and trite.
„And how should that look?“ Lilith asked, a little disappointed. But do not be surprised. What else could he say, than to push them into further illusions, as unstable as they are.“
„You are standing there looking at the soap bubbles that have long since disappeared,“ Ruben once more summed up the situation they had already been able to do, and that she was, „You mean, you can not do it differently because it was everything on dreams you had. But also because you do not want to see anything else. You have been carrying it with you for many years. This also means that you sent away all the other dreams to concentrate on this one alone. Until then there was really only the one that you thought would be the only one there was. “
„Now and then came one, I remember, but there was no place for it. I thought I did not need Plan B, because it would be because it was, „Lilith said,“ And now it’s too late. You can not start again from the beginning. “
„You can never start from the beginning, because there is always a life before us that we take with us, but you can start something new, always on the last day,“ explained Ruben, and it sounded well, but only because something sounded well, it did not mean that it was alive.
„And how is that supposed to be?“ Lilith asked.
„The first thing you should do is let go. You are standing there and looking intently in a direction in which your dreams have disappeared like soaps, „concluded Ruben,“ Take this look and look around. There are so many other directions in which you can see so many ways to discover something different. But to notice this, you must first free yourself from what is actually trapped.“
„An idea that I thought it meant my happiness and which has become my prison,“ said Lilith thoughtfully, „A dream I absolutely set, and proved to be an illusion.“
„And it was not a dream that belonged to you, but someone who built upon it that others had the same dream. You built your dream on others instead of having them with them,“ explained Ruben,“ But you can not impose your dreams on anyone. It’s about finding your dream, experiencing what you want. All you have thought, do not expect me, in your dreams, only you. “
„It’s not easy to think of yourself when you just think about others,“ Lilith explained, and it sounded like an excuse.
„Sometimes we go a way, even if it is not the right one. Nevertheless, we continue to run because we have now hit him and think that there is no alternative,“ said Ruben.
„I am blind, too,“ said Lilith thoughtfully, „Over and over again you see the bar in your own eye.“
„Oh yes, because I also had a dream, a similar to you,“ said Ruben.
„What do you mean, do you want to celebrate something?“ Lilith asked with a mischievous smile that had driven out the sadness and the resignation.
„Sure, but what would we have to celebrate?“ Ruben asked.
„Let go of the day when we say good-bye to our illusions, and welcome our new dreams, whatever they may be, whatever that may be,“ suggested Lilith, „farewell and new beginning.“
„That sounds wonderful,“ agreed Ruben, „we go out and give us a dream.“
And because a dream was something you could not buy anywhere, not even saying goodbye and letting go, it fits into the empty store. A can of soap bubbles appeared in the display this evening. Farewell and new beginning. This too was a gift.