4. Listening
Lilith and Ruben were already sitting at the first cup of tea this morning, when the door was once again cracked, but the only difference was that Rebekka apologized this time.
„I’m sorry, power of habit. Good morning!”, she said breathless as she held the boy, who wanted to free himself from her grip, „But he just did not want to come.“
„Good morning, Rebekka”, said Lilith and Ruben.
„But why do you force him to come if he does not want to?”, Ruben asked, looking at the young man.
„Because he has a problem and does not want to talk to anyone”, Rebekka said tightly.
„But you can not force anyone. If he does not want to talk, that’s his business, I think”, Lilith said.
„No, it’s not his business. I know how it is when you are silent and no one sees it, nobody hears it, no one notices it”, explained Rebekka,“ And he does. I tried to get him, but he did not let me. That’s why I thought, after you have done this with me so well, you will be able to do something with this guy.” And the one who was walking just stood there and listened. His gray eyes flashed, but there was no emotion in him. He did not try to escape either.
„What have we done with you?“, Lilith asked, amazed.
„I hugged my mother just as you told me, and then we both cried and sat in front of the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate, as we did in the past, and my little brother was there too. It felt right for family. So right, and I’ve been looking for an apprenticeship in the decorative field”, Rebekka said cheerfully. She was really like a substitute, „And the guy here, who has been my friend since kindergarten, or at least does so, does not want to be helped.“
„I am very happy”, Lilith explained enthusiastically, thinking of the right way to do it with the sign, because that is what we really need, a hug, coexistence, and you can not really buy that anywhere. Yes, even more, the purchase is even in the way, because you have no time for a hug, and no eye for it, because the concentration is completely directed at the things, away from the people.
„Nevertheless, we will not force anyone to do anything”, said Ruben, „If the young man wants to go, we will not stop him, even you Rebekka.“
All of them were now looking at him questioningly, the still nameless with the flashing gray eyes and the delicate face. It would have been his cue. If he wanted to leave, he could have gone now. Instead, he sat down on the last, still empty chair, leaned his elbows on his thighs and put his chin in his hands. Everything about him looked like resignation.
„It does not matter anyway”, he confirmed his outlook.
„That’s Samuel, by the way”, Rebekka blurted in, „And that’s Lilith and Rubin.“
„I’m glad, Samuel”, said Lilith and Rubin confined himself to nodding.
„Why is it all the same?“, Ruben picked up the words.
„Because nobody is interested anyway”, Samuel replied as shortly, as cryptically.
„What does not matter to anyone?“, Ruben continued.
„No one is interested in anyone. If you’re supposed to talk to each other, it’s just that everyone says what he has to say, and then if you want to tell yourself something, then no one listens. They just want to profile themselves and do not realize there are other people”, Samuel explained.
„Well, it’s getting harder and harder to get people to talk and listen to what’s spoken and heard, that’s well-known to me”, Lilith said, „But I will not let go the suspicion, that you are not interested in everyone, just in certain people, which are important for you, who should listen to you.”
„It’s about his family”, replied Rebekka, who had become visibly impatient. „You can say that, the two are hard.“
„It’s all right”, Ruben repeated wistfully, glancing at his belly, a little too wide for his taste. Nevertheless, he understood, of course, that this should have been a compliment, „It is so that they are very rich, but never there, and when they are there, they tell of their successes and what is still pending. And when Samuel asks time or just wants to say something, then they have no time. Or have to telephone. Or something else. With his mother, it is said that the phone must have already grown in the ear, so much calls on the phone.“
„Yes, but what’s the matter, it does not change anything, if we speak about it”, Samuel resigned, „And it’s also good.“
„And what can be good about that?“, Ruben asked.
„Well, every time they have a guilty conscience because of me, they put me money and think I should buy something pretty”, Samuel said, shrugging.
„And so his room is so full that one would not know what he could buy. He does not care about the whole stuff“, Rebekka said, who obviously knew the facts very well.
„Because the things you can buy are not listening“, Lilith replied, „What are the coolest clothes, the best electronics, and what do I know when he just wants someone to listen to him?“
„But to be able to listen, you need time”, said Samuel thoughtfully, „And not just time, which is constantly interrupted by something, but time, in which one is quite present and one can not be distracted by anything. Time reserved for nothing else. „
„That’s right”, confirmed Ruben, „Just as we are sitting here now and nothing interrupts us. You can not just buy it, you have to initiate and do it yourself. And yet it would be so necessary. „
„It would be so nice if I had someone I can reach, where I feel accepted with my thoughts and words”, Samuel explained.
„Then tell us about you”, Lilith demanded.
And on that evening the sculpture of an ear wandered into the display, for listening, that is something you really need and can only be had in the empty business. This is what pleases the soul.